It’s been a while! I actually have about 4 unpublished blog posts that I just never fully finished. Then I had a second baby and walked through 3 months of straight hell with that so ya..nothing was going up for a while. Remember my first post about my postpartum depression after Liam? Well times that by 100 and add colic. Anyway that’s not the point of this post. In fact I don’t know if I’ll ever publicly share how hard this postpartum period was because it’s dark and people are mean. BUT sweet baby girl, Juliana is a dreamboat 9 month old now! And little mr. Liam is 2 and a half! So this blog post is all about where we are now. And WE. ARE. IN. IT.
My sister, Heather, and I have been able to relate on a whole new level since I have had kids. Mostly in the form of morning texts like “I’m pretending I don’t know that all 3 kids are upstairs in tablets” which is one of my favorite texts from her. I won’t share my texts because they usually consist of calling my 2 year an asshole and if my mom reads this it will really upset her. Btw he is one of the sweetest 2 years ever but he’s still 2. Automatic a-hole.
A few months ago heather texted me a picture of her kids in the pool while she sat on a chair watching them get all their energy out. She was saying she’s made it to that stage where she can actually relax a little. When she texted me I was a zombie with a baby who didn’t sleep and a toddler who was bored and Cranky I was so jealous. For me, the newborn stage is not something I love. I like a tight schedule. I hated the stage we were in.
But one day recently I sat in Liams room while he played with his toys and Juliana watched his every move. I sat there and thought “I’m good. I like this stage”. I realized we are totally IN IT.
We are in that part of life that we will always look back on with sweet memories and pain of missing it. But we are also in that part of life that is exhausting. Finding the balance between “enjoy every second of this because I know how badly I’ll miss it” and “I’m so tired I can’t wait until I can sleep in and my kids can get their own breakfast” isn’t easy. We’re in the days of dyyinnggg for bedtime then laying in bed sharing the best best pictures we got of the kids that day and talking about how amazing they are.
Are you in it with me right now? Are you struggling to balance work and parenthood? Me too. Especially with trying to breastfeed and pump. Are you staying home with your kids going a little crazy everyday? Or maybe you’re past it and you would do anything to be “in it” just for a day again. I get it. I know I’ll miss it. I know I need to hold on to every second. Soak it in. Don’t blink. I’m trying. And most days I think I do cherish every second. I try to live in the moment, but also take a ton of videos because I know it will be hard to remember every detail.
It feels good to be past the newborn stage and in a sweet spot of life. The spot that most parents look back on as the good days. The sweet days when the babies are young and so in love with mommy and daddy. Where every little thing is huge. Every new trick, new word, every funny thing a toddler says.
So if you need me, I’ll be over here in the thick of it. Cleaning my kitchen 6 times a day, building more towers than any one person should have to build and killing my knees playing “leopards” with my 2 year old. These days are tiring and stressful, but still so blissful. And I know it will hurt one day when I wake up and realize they’re gone.